Article on
Loneliness from
"A-Womans-Life.com"
"Why me? I
used to be happy, now I am so lonely" by Tami Marple
As I walk
down the street passing the many people who are none the wiser, I have a
sickening pain running through my veins. It is the loneliness I feel
that has built up inside me into a volcano of frustration, hatred and
bitterness. I hate that I am alone. I am walking alone, I am going home
alone, I am eating alone and I am sleeping alone. Life isn't fair; why
am I the only one who feels this way. Everyone walking along this street
looks normal, happy and content. No one could possibly know the
resentment I feel towards them; people I don't even know.
Everyday
I ask myself "what did I do to deserve this?" and "how do I make it go
away?" I am stifled with the loneliness that consumes me. Should I kill
myself? Should I move away? Thinking maybe it would be better someplace
else. Maybe I am going insane and need medication? Besides a few good
friends, my only comfort is watching TV, but only for a short period of
time. Then the horrible feelings come back. Maybe sleep will help, but
will I live through the night? I feel dead inside. I don't like feeling
dead. So I wander on to bed with high hopes that I can go right to sleep
escaping the day that seems to have lasted weeks. I fall into slumber
immediately and actually wake up the next morning with a clear head and
a glimmer of hope that life will be easier on this day. It is a bit
better than the day before. And the next day is a little bit better
again.
Is time
actually working on my loneliness? Had I reached rock bottom and there
was nowhere to go but up? I worry that I will fall back into the pits of
hell and every once in a while I do - I slip into that deep depression
of loneliness. At least as time goes on I begin to recognize when the
feeling is getting ready to consume me and I have learned what I need to
do to ward it off.
How do
you begin a happy healthy life again? It takes time to recuperate from
the loneliness that usually hits the hardest after a broken
relationship, divorce, or death; when it is not a chosen way of life.
Your subconscious mind will most likely remember only the good times
instead of the bad times, which are usually suppressed. You may
fantasize about how wonderful the relationship was that you had with
your past love. Were you really happy? Or was it just comforting to have
a companion? Was it true love? Or was it lust? Savor the good memories,
but don't let them cloud your mind with the thought that you will never
be happy again. With time anything is possible. Yes, even if you are
single and alone.
Use this
alone time to reflect, look at yourself closely and discover who you are
and who you want to become. Let your attitude work for you - not against
you. A positive outlook will make all the difference in the world, just
as a negative outlook will do just the opposite. Be aggressive in
fighting off this unwelcome visitor. After all, do you want the
loneliness to devour you or do you want to devour it? It takes a lot of
guts to face loneliness head on. But you can do it, for only you can
make the difference of being happy or unhappy, content or not, confident
or not. If you find yourself slipping back into that dungeon of a black
hole, climb out quickly with your new found strength or it will become
harder and harder to get out and back onto the mountain of hope.
Make
goals and plans for yourself. I keep a goal sheet next to my favorite
chair and update it weekly. I find pleasure in trying to overachieve my
goals. I set the bar high so I have something to work for. Or try
keeping a daily things to do list that keeps you busy throughout the
days or evenings and reward yourself when you complete the list. (A hot
bath or maybe a scoop of ice cream). This will help you to not feel like
a lost soul as your life may seem to have become very unorganized or out
of whack without your partner. Or just enjoy the satisfaction of
accomplishing all that you set out to do.
Keep a
journal to track your emotional progress. Write your feelings and
emotions every day, then go back every once in a while and read your
past entrees to see how you have grown with time. You may also discover
what makes you feel your best and what brings you down. This will help
you to avoid the things or people that bring you unhappiness.
Is it
really possible to live alone and like it? There are many many women who
do just that. With a good attitude and time you can conquer all the
hurdles that are in your way of happiness. Remember, you don't have to
be lonely just because you are alone.
Remember
to smile even if you have to force yourself. Not only is it contagious,
but it will make you feel better. Try it.
Ms Independent,
Tami Marple
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