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Mini
Article on Motivation from
"A-Woman's-Life"
Table for one, please by Tami Marple
I was having one of those days at work; you know, the kind where everything
seems to go wrong. It was a day or two before our company's quarter end and the
sales department was incredibly flustered that they hadn't hit quota yet. It was
going to be a race to the deadline just as it was every quarter end. I was
particularly aggravated at my manager on this day as he pushed and pushed each
one of us beyond our capacity and expected the proverbial blood from a turnip.
So I decided that even though it was unheard of during quarter end, I would go
out for lunch, by myself. The people I normally would go out with were part of
the reason I needed to get out in the first place. I wanted to run away from the
stress and relax a few minutes alone before getting hit with the pressure all
over again upon my return.
I had to sneak out of the office so no one would notice that I was disappearing
for a while. I realized after making the plunge to slip out of the building that
I had never been to lunch on my own before and never in my wildest dreams
imagined that it would be so stressful. I visited a chain restaurant close to
the office building, one that the girls and I ate at on special occasions,
birthdays, promotions, engagement, etc. I thought this place would be a very
comfortable place to go to for my first lunch on my own.
As I entered the restaurant I developed a very keen sense of self. I thought to
myself, 'Am I walking too fast or too slow? What do I do with my arms? Cross
them swing them or let them dangle? Is my zipper down, is my slip showing, do I
have a bugger smeared across my face?' My self image, self-esteem, and self
confidence were all in double work mode. I had never been so aware of my
existence when the hostess/greeter (whatever you call them nowadays) called out,
'How many in your party?', followed by 'Will anyone be joining you today?'
Everyone seemed to be looking at me as I very quietly blurted out that I was
alone, 'A table for one please.'
It almost appeared that everyone within earshot gave me a little pitiful nod
while looking at me with great confusion. Were they proud of me for having the
guts to eat out all by myself? Did they think someone stood me up? Maybe they
thought I was so unpleasant to be around that no one would eat with me. Why was
I analyzing their thoughts? I was there for me and that was what mattered the
most.
Truth is that most people will admire a woman who has the courage to eat out in
a restaurant by herself. A good majority of the women who were there had
probably never done so. They may be threatened by you depending on their own
level of self-esteem, but will usually still admire you. Those women who have
eaten out alone understand the awkwardness that can come until you get used to
it.
I was at my table and again it appeared that everyone was staring at me. I had
become very self conscious until I remembered, 'Hey, I am still a pretty
good-looking woman and can still catch an eye or two, men or women.' I started
holding my head up higher at the thought of being noticed.
I fumbled with the menu a bit and soon decided what I would like to order. The
big problem was what was I to do with my eyes, my hands and myself if I laid the
menu down? As long as I was holding it I had something to hide behind. As I
started to ponder the situation the waiter came by with my drink and asked if I
was ready to place my order. I did and he took my security blanket (menu) away.
Now what was I to do while I waited? I hadn't brought a book to read. Should I
have worried about what was going on back at the office? NO. Stared at a wall?
NO. I soon learned to make sure that I sat with my back to the wall so I can
people watch. I pleasantly sat at my table sipping my drink while watching
people coming and going, the workers delivering food and removing empty plates,
and the children driving their parents wild. I began to find relaxation within
myself. I found the more I smiled, the more smiles I got in return, and every
once in a while, someone from the restaurant would sit down with me for a few
seconds.
After a couple of minutes it dawned on me that I was still all alone and I once
again had to decide what to do with my arms - cross them, let them hang down,
lay them on the table? Only this time I was able to handle it with great ease.
Ahha! My problem was solved - the food had just arrived.
Actually, I discovered that eating on my own to be a good experience. The food
tasted better and lasted longer since I wasn't gulping it down in order to
answer someone else's question. I could savor every bite. I also had the chance
to discover myself on a different level and not just by sitting in my car or
camping out in my home.
After I finished my meal, paid my bill and returned to work, my attitude had
changed and my self-confidence was soaring. I had just accomplished something
that most women never will - I ate out alone. (Men too, for that matter). I felt
as though I could take on the world.
For one of the more awkward experiences I have ever had, I think it was one of
the most rewarding. I discovered that I enjoy the company of my peers, but I
also enjoy my own company. My self-esteem is greater because of what I did. I
earned it and I know I can keep on earning it.
Unfortunately, everyone in the office was still running around like chickens
with their heads chopped off trying to finish business for the end of the
quarter.
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